EmmDev 2026-08-28 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Sober Thinking #4 - The Importance of Love

Sober Thinking #4 - The Importance of Love

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. (1Peter3:15-16)

Although Peter is talking about sharing our faith, I think the same principles apply to our sober-thinking in the midst of a confused world where outrage, manipulation and vilifying of people who have different views are the order of the day.

We are not called to win arguments, but to win people.

Paul warns Titus: "But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless." (Titus 3:4)

Love needs to determine what we fight for and how we engage our world and the challenges it poses.
We must combine:
- Rootedness in Christ and His Community
- Discernment that is based on God's standards revealed in Christ and His Word
- Love that is sincere and genuine - wanting to do the best for those around us.

Whatever we discern, should be tempered, expressed and implemented with love.

• Before we draw our conclusions we need to be sure we are not operating out of fear, pride, or hate.
• When we communicate our views we need to be able to say: "I don't agree with you" or "My understanding of God's plan is different from the view you are expressing" without sounding holier-than-thou, condemnatory or arrogant.
• When we implement our decisions, we should do our very best not to alienate, humiliate or denigrate others.

Rootedness gives us something solid to stand on. Our roots are in Christ.
Discernment helps us understand what is true and what is best.
Love determines how we treat the people involved.

Let me say it again:
We are not called to win arguments, but to win people.

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EmmDev 2026-08-27 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Sober Thinking #3 - Discerning

 

Sober Thinking #3 - Discerning

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians1:9-11)

Paul is praying for the church in Philippi.

Philippi was a Roman colony with a strong Roman identity. Paul planted the church there with a remarkable collection of early members: Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth; a slave girl freed from demonic possession; and the Philippian jailer and his family. It was a diverse congregation - and not always harmonious. (Paul had to urge Euodia and Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.)

Discernment, the ability to understand the situation, to find the best way, and to make the right choices was a very necessary skill for the fledgling church in Philippi and so Paul prayed for it.

What is so interesting is how Paul prays for a chain reaction to happen in them.
There are a number of links in the chain.
Each link is important and, without each link, the rest of the chain falls away.

The first link is love, and we'll talk about love in detail tomorrow, but Paul prays that love will abound in two particular ways: Knowledge and Depth of Insight. Knowledge without love can be clinical and even cruel. Knowledge can be a dagger that kills or a scalpel that saves. Love makes the difference. Similarly, facts need interpretation or deep insight. Without love it is possible to come to harsh conclusions from facts. Love gives a generosity and sensitivity to our interpretations and insights.

The next links are discernment of what is best, pure and blameless.
Discernment, means that a choice, a determination, a judgement has to be made.
It needs to be what is best for all,
it needs to be pure, coming from the best of motives,
and it should be blameless without the baggage of corruption or compromise.

Our eighth link there should be a sense of focus and longevity to to our journey, that our characters are being shaped and ready for Christ's coming.
The next link is that our decisions bear the good fruit of righteousness
and the final, tenth link, is that the glory and praise goes to God.

These links give us the chain of discernment.
It starts with love and ends with the glory of God.
Paul prayed that this would be a quality of the Philippian Church.
We pray the same for ourselves...

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EmmDev 2026-08-26 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Sober Thinking #2 Wisdom AKA Rooted

Sober Thinking #2 Wisdom AKA Rooted

Yesterday I talked about the three legs of the table of Sober-Thinking which I listed as Wisdom, Discernment and Love.
The diagram showed "Rooted" instead of "Wisdom".

"Rooted" is a better description than Wisdom...
Our reading for today comes from a list of soldiers who came to help transition David into kingship after Saul's death. It's a formidable list of brave warriors and heroes, from various but the one of the tribes stands out...

These are the numbers of the men armed for battle who came to David at Hebron to turn Saul's kingdom over to him, as the Lord had said: - from Judah, carrying shield and spear -- 6,800 armed for battle; - from Simeon, warriors ready for battle -- 7,100; - from Levi -- 4,600, including Jehoiada, leader of the family of Aaron, with 3,700 men, and Zadok, a brave young warrior, with 22 officers from his family; - from Benjamin, Saul's tribe -- 3,000, most of whom had remained loyal to Saul's house until then; - from Ephraim, brave warriors, famous in their own clans -- 20,800; - from half the tribe of Manasseh, designated by name to come and make David king -- 18,000; - from Issachar, men who understood the times and knew what Israel should do -- 200 chiefs, with all their relatives under their command. (1Chronicles12:23-32)

The tribe of Issachar is described differently from the others.

Firstly, they are described, not in terms of battle-skills, but in terms of "understanding the times and knowing what Israel (the people of God) should do." This is striking: these are people who are ready in season and out of season. They had their finger on the pulse and they could make wise decisions about what to do. To have this kind of wisdom requires more than observation. It requires principles, experience and a framework for interpreting what we see. For God's people, that framework is the Word and ways of God. Observation and knowledge is useful to a point, but one needs a set of principles and depth of experience to know what to do. The tribe of Issachar didn't just have good observation and interpretive skills, they also combined principle and experience to "know what to do."

Secondly, where all the other tribes are listed by headcount, Issachar is listed as "200 chiefs, with all their relatives under their command." This is striking. Where as the other tribes are listed as individuals, Issachar are listed as a groups, clans, or units. There is a sense of community about them which conveys a powerful sense of belonging and connection.

Issachar was rooted.
- They functioned as a community and not individuals.
- They had a clear perception and understanding.
- They knew what to do because they drew on principles and experience.
- They knew what Israel (the people of God) should do - they walked closely with God.

We're called to be rooted in the same way:
- We need to walk closely with God.
- We need to be part of a healthy vibrant community.
- We need to have clear perception and understanding.
- We should spend time in God's Word (Principles) and learn from our experiences and the experiences of others.

These roots take time to develop, but they are important.
When the wind blows, the question isn't:
"How strong is the tree today?"
It's: "How deep are its roots?"

When the world is blowing hard, we can't suddenly grow roots.
We need to discover that we already have them...

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EmmDev 2026-08-25 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Sober Thinking #1 - The Three Legged Table

Sober Thinking #1 - The Three Legged Table

This week we review the fifth sermon in the "Wisdom for Everyday Life" series which was "Sober Thinking in an Opinionated World."
In the sermon I introduced the idea of a three legged table (three legged tables and chairs don't wobble easily.)
The three legs to sober thinking are: Wisdom, Discernment and Love.

In an opinionated world where rage, aggression, outrage and winning at all costs are the order of the day, these three legs are crucial.

Here's a striking Old Testament example from the early days of King Solomon who was renowned for his wisdom.

Now two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. One of them said, "My lord, this woman and I live in the same house. I had a baby while she was there with me. The third day after my child was born, this woman also had a baby. We were alone; there was no one in the house but the two of us. "During the night this woman's son died because she lay on him. So she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while I your servant was asleep. She put him by her breast and put her dead son by my breast. The next morning, I got up to nurse my son--and he was dead! But when I looked at him closely in the morning light, I saw that it wasn't the son I had borne." The other woman said, "No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours." But the first one insisted, "No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine." And so they argued before the king. The king said, "This one says, My son is alive and your son is dead,' while that one says, No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.' " Then the king said, "Bring me a sword." So they brought a sword for the king. He then gave an order: "Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other." The woman whose son was alive was filled with compassion for her son and said to the king, "Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don't kill him!" But the other said, "Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!" Then the king gave his ruling: "Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother." (1Kings3:16-27)

Solomon did not have DNA testing available to him. The only knowledge that he had of this situation was the conflicting testimonies of these two women. But while knowledge was not useful in this situation, WISDOM understood the protective nature of the a true mother.

Solomon couldn't rely on investigation or deduction here. He had to be DISCERNING. It seems that his discernment was that one of the mothers had a hardness to her. She was not grieving the loss of her child, nor was there any sign of remorse about causing her child's death. Her claim on the living child was that she would not lose face as a bad mother, and that she would not be be childless while the other woman had a child. She was operating from a mindset that could be summarised as "Either I win, or we must both lose."

Solomon's discernment led him to use the test of LOVE and so he decreed that the baby should be cut in two and each mother be given a half. This command revealed the lovelessness of the lying mother and it revealed the love of the true mother. The bad mother was only interested in not losing, whereas the good mother would rather lose the fight than see her baby die.

Solomon applied wisdom, discernment and love to this very difficult scenario.

In an opinionated world, sober thinking requires all three.
- Wisdom asks what is true and looks for meaning.
- Discernment asks what is really going on.
- Love asks what will protect and bless the people involved.

Without Wisdom we can be confidently wrong.
Without Discernment we can be easily manipulated.
Without Love we can win the argument and lose the person.

May God give us all three

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Forgiveness vs Bitterness #4 - Receiving Forgiveness

 Forgiveness vs Bitterness #4 - Receiving Forgiveness

How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, Who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! (Hebrews9:14)

The writer of the letter to the Hebrews knew something important: Sometimes we struggle to believe that God really can forgive us.

Some people say that our consciences are actually the Holy Spirit whispering His truth into our hearts. This is not entirely accurate. We all have a conscience - a God-given capacity to recognise and evaluate right and wrong. Our consciences are a place where God can and does speak to us powerfully through the Holy Spirit.

But our consciences can be damaged in two ways:
1. They can be seared or corrupted (1Tim4:2 and Titus1:15). When this happens, we care less and less about the things we have done wrong.

2. But our consciences can fail to grasp the forgiveness of God.

In a pastoral context I hear this quite often.
- "I don't know how God can possibly forgive me for the terrible thing I did."
- "I keep doing it over and over again. I can't see how God can forgive me."
- "I promised God that I would not do that and then I did. I don't deserve forgiveness."

But the letter to the Hebrews gives us GOOD NEWS:
- Jesus' death does not only cancel the legal debt of our sins and brokenness,
- but His blood will also cleanse our consciences
So that we can serve the living God.

Paul says: ""Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom.8:1)

So here's the conversation that should be happening inside us.
Conscience: "I did a bad thing."
Gospel: "Yes. And Christ died for it."
Conscience: "But I don't deserve forgiveness."
Gospel: "That's why it's called grace."
Conscience: "But I still feel guilty."
Gospel: "Christ's blood cleanses even the conscience."

This does not mean that we treat sin lightly. When we confess our sin it should be accompanied by repentance which may require restitution, apology and changed behaviour, but when the guilt-trip in our conscience tries to overshadow the forgiveness God offers then we need to bring our consciences back to the cross.

Christ's blood is sufficient not only to forgive our sin, but to cleanse our consciences so that we can stop looking backwards and begin serving the living God.

God is the Judge,
Christ is the Redeemer,
and we don't need to appoint ourselves as a second judge over sins God has already forgiven.

What God has forgiven, we do not need to keep condemning.

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Forgiveness vs Bitterness #3 - As we forgive others

 

Forgiveness vs Bitterness #3 - As we forgive others

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Matthew6:12)

Here's a profoundly uncomfortable truth and principle:
Our experience of being forgiven by God and our track-record with regard to forgiving others are linked.

It always remains true that Christ's death is sufficient to forgive all sins.
There is no question about His ability to forgive and wash away our sins.
Jesus died to pay the price of your and my sin, past, present and future.

But what good is a gift of a billion rand if it is in my bank account and I never withdraw a cent?

If I have a deep sense of forgiven-ness, it is a deep well that I can draw from and I can offer some of that living water to those around me. I can draw from that well when someone hurts me. I don't have to manufacture forgiveness from nothing. I can draw on the mercy that God has already shown me and extend some of that mercy to someone else. If I am unwilling or unable to forgive, then the implication is that my well has a locked lid on it and even I can't drink from it.

Understand the principle: we don't forgive others to earn forgiveness - that would be the cart before the horse - we forgive others because we ourselves have been forgiven. This is the point of the parable about the slave who was pardoned a huge debt by the king and was thrown into prison when he would not forgive a tiny debt incurred by another slave.

If we are persistently UNABLE to forgive, it may be because we have not completely understood how great a debt God has released us from.
If we are persistently UNWILLING to forgive, it may be because we have hardened our hearts to the reality of our own sin and the grace that sets us free.

In short, complete forgiveness is available to us in Christ, but if we have not fully embraced and connected to that forgiveness it manifests in us being unwilling or unable to forgive. Not forgiving others may be a symptom of not connecting to and experiencing God's forgiveness. The more deeply we understand the grace we have received, the more freely we can extend grace to others.

Those who have genuinely received God's mercy become merciful people.

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Forgiveness vs Bitterness #2 - Why and How should I forgive?

 Forgiveness vs Bitterness #2 - Why and How should I forgive?

Why should we forgive? And how can we forgive when the hurt is so deep?
- Some people have been through incredible pain. Pain that seems impossible to forgive.
- Some people feel they just don't have the strength, and sometimes even the desire, to forgive.
- Some people are evil and unrepentant and don't seem worthy of forgiveness.
- Some differences just seem to be too great.

Paul is writing the the church in Ephesus talking to them about how to live transformed and Spirit-filled lives in the world.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with Whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians4:29-32)

In this passage Paul tells us WHY we forgive and HOW we can do it.

Let's start with the WHY.
Paul states it simply: we forgive because that's what God, in Christ, did for us.
This is powerful.
We sinned against God. We couldn't make it right.
So God sent Jesus. Jesus did nothing wrong, but we cruelly crucified Him.
Jesus modeled forgiveness in His prayer and desires: "Father forgive them..."
And He secured our forgiveness by laying down His life for us.
If we're children of God, if we're forgiven, then we should forgive.

And, to borrow from the parable of the unforgiving servant, which I examined when I preached on this subject, the debt from which we have been forgiven is much greater than the debt of forgiveness we owe. If God has forgiven me for so much, how can I withhold forgiveness from another soul for whom Jesus died? This does not diminish the seriousness of the sin committed against us or the pain we experience because of it, but it does place it in perspective.

Let's talk about the HOW.
The good news is that we don't have to do this all by ourselves.
Paul talks about the using our words for good and not harm and as he talks about dealing with aggressive desires like bitterness, rage, anger and such like. As he does so, he reminds us not to "grieve the Holy Spirit with whom we are sealed..."

The Holy Spirit is our helper. He will prompt, convict, empower, guide, strengthen and empower us to become more like Jesus. He will help us control our tongues. He will help us deal with malicious desires and tendencies and He will grow kindness and compassion in us, enabling us to forgive each other.

The problem is that we grieve the Spirit
- we do our own thing and push ahead in our own strength.
- we harden our hearts to His prompting.
- we resist His work of grace in us.
... and then we find it hard to forgive...

But when we answer the Spirit's promptings and walk closer to Jesus daily, we'll discover that He is transforming us and making us able to forgive.

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 Forgiveness vs Bitterness #1 - The Power of Restoration.

This week we explore the fourth idea in our journey of Wisdom in Every Day Life:
"Forgiveness instead of Bitterness."

Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. ... Esau asked, "What do you mean by all these droves I met?" "To find favor in your eyes, my lord," he said. But Esau said, "I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself." "No, please!" said Jacob. "If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably." (Genesis33:1-10)

Jacob had wronged his twin brother, twice over, and not in small ways:
- He took advantage of his brother's hunger to swindle him out of his birthright
- He deceived his father, by disguising himself as Esau to get the blessing of the first-born.

Then Jacob fled back to his father's home country to his uncle Laban who deceived him by giving him Leah (the eldest) in marriage when Jacob loved Rachel (the youngest). So Jacob deceived Laban by manipulating the breeding of the goats he looked after to his advantage and, when Jacob fled back to Canaan, Rachel deceived her father by stealing the household idol.

So far the story is of deception leading to broken relationships and more deception. It's a vicious cycle.
And now, as Jacob nears Canaan, he's told his brother and a large entourage is coming out to meet him.
Fearing retribution and wrath he sends a string of gifts and his family to meet Esau.
Jacob is afraid - very afraid.

But two important things happen:

• Jacob has an encounter with God that leaves him limping and gives him a new name - Israel, "he struggles with God."
• When he meets Esau, he is welcomed graciously and with kindness.

It seems Esau has been on his own journey.
He wasn't perfect, but in this moment he models generosity, grace and reconciliation, where he could have defaulted to bitterness, rage and vengefulness.
Esau doesn't merely refrain from hurting Jacob.
He runs to him. He embraces him. He kisses him. He weeps with him.
He breaks the cycle and it's powerful.

Jacob took things from Esau.
Esau now gives Jacob something Jacob cannot buy: peace.
Jacob says: "It's like seeing the face of God."

Restoration is powerful thing.
It sets us and others free.
It discombobulates and liberates.

It's what we are called to do.
And when we do it, others will see the face of God.

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EmmDev 2026-08-14 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Faith vs Fear #4 - Shush!

Faith vs Fear #4 - Shush!

Psalm 46 can be read as three stanzas, and each stanza ends with the word "Selah" which some scholars believe indicates a musical interlude where the musicians play, but the singing is paused giving the congregation time to think about what has been sung. Where we find this word in various psalms seems to confirm the idea that "Selah" invites us to "pause and think about that..."

Each stanza also contains a doctrinal affirmation about God.
In the first stanza we read "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
In the second and third we read "The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

We can summarise the stanzas as follows:

1. God is our refuge in trouble of all kinds....
   SELAH (Stop and think about that!)
2. God has a city with a life-giving river for us and He will defend us
   SELAH (Stop and think about that!)
3. God is more powerful than the agents of chaos and we have to turn from them and trust in Him.
   SELAH (Stop and think about that!)

Let's read the Psalm.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; He lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations He has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; He breaks the bow and shatters the spear, He burns the shields with fire. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah (Psalms46:1-11)

While there is a lot we can say about the Psalm, I want to focus on the last few verses.
People often read the verses "Be Still and Know that I am God..." quite sentimentally and see them as a gentle pastoral injunction to quieten our souls for a gentle and contemplative time with God. We often see the words on a poster with someone sitting in quietly in an idyllically calm and peaceful situation in an attitude of quiet, devotional prayer and reflection.

The truth of these verses are that they are spoken by a powerful and holy God who is addressing the nations and the forces of chaos and darkness in the world. He's addressing fear, chaos, darkness and uncertainty. He's talking to the nations, the storms and the earthquakes (and us!) and effectively He's saying: "Shush. Enough. Stop. I am God."

He's in charge of the chaos, He's in charge of the storm, He will reign.
And as Elijah learned - sometimes God calms the storm, and sometimes He calms His child.

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EmmDev 2026-08-13 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Faith vs Fear #3 - Do not be dis-couraged

Faith vs Fear #3 - Do not be dis-couraged

King Jehoshaphat faced a huge invasion. He calls the people to fast and pray, and he himself prays a beautiful prayer which he ends with "Lord, we don't know what to do but our eyes are on You."

Soon after, God brings an encouraging word through Jahaziel:

He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' " (2Chronicles20:15-17)

In English encouragement is all about giving, boosting and nurturing courage in ("en") people. Discouragement is about stealing, removing and negating courage in people.

A quick Bible search reveals that, when it comes to discouragement, it is used most often as a negative instruction - "Do NOT be discouraged!"

Even more interestingly, it is most often addressed to fledgling Israel and her greatest leaders. Joshua, David, Jehoshaphat and Hezekiah are the ones who are told: "Do not be discouraged!"

Discouragement's greatest ally is fear.
In almost all the passages talking about discouragement, the other phrase found is "do not be afraid."

Fear leeches courage from us.
Fear paralyses us.
Fear makes us doubt God's promises.
Fear causes us to see the worst scenarios.
Fear blinds us to the possibility of what courage could achieve.

So what does it mean when we're told "Do not be afraid or discouraged"?
On the one hand we're being asked to stand up to the bullying of fear. On the other we are being asked to make sure that there are no "disses" to our encouragements. In other words, we're being asked to hold on to the experiences, promises, dreams, visions and hopes that once encouraged us.

Today's teenagers talk about being "dissed"... When someone "disses" you, they stomp all over your character, reputation, hopes and dreams. This is what Goliath did to David. He tried to "diss" David by mocking and reviling him. He needed to - because David's sling was a more accurate and ranged weapon than Goliath's spear. Goliath had to rattle David's cage. He had to "diss"courage him. David held on to God's faithfulness... and he didn't miss.

In the same way, Jehoshaphat faced a vast army.
He overcame fear and "diss"couragement by trusting God.
The passage later tells us that he trusted God so much that he put the singers and praisers in front of the army. Their praises disempowered their fear and encouraged the people.

And a mighty victory was won.
The enemy was not the vast army but "disencouragement."
And it was defeated.
How are you at facing fear and discouragement in your life?

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