Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew5:23-24
Someone said: "Unforgiveness is drinking poison and hoping the one we are mad at will die."
While unforgiveness is a topic all in itself - it is relevant here in that it has an impact on our self-images in the sense that we are unable to experience and know the forgiveness of God. This is why we pray: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."
When we hold on to the pain that others have caused us, it causes all sorts of complicated filters that sit in our psyche and interfere with our ability to function normally.
For example: If I hold on to a hurt of a past relationship, I adopt the attitude of "once-bitten, twice shy" and never give myself fully in subsequent relationships. Or if I have been hurt by the betrayal of a loved one in the past, I jump to quick (and wrong) conclusions when the circumstances are similar (even if it is another person)
To forgive is to choose to remember without pain and fear.
To forgive is to break the grip that those who have hurt us have over us.
To forgive is to refute the lie that we somehow deserve what was done to us.
Sometimes forgiveness can happen without the other person present, but there are times when forgiveness and reconciliation need to happen together. This is best started with an honest, unconditional apology when we have been out of line from our side.
When we let those who have hurt us go, we often discover that it is us who find real freedom. Thunk! There's a filter that has just landed in the bin!
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Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
