He who covers over an offence promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offence. Proverbs19:11
Selwyn Hughes wrote this in his "Seven Laws of Spiritual Success":
It is another law of life, I believe, that spiritual health and success depend on our ability to forget the hurts and injuries that others have given us -not to have them erased from memory, but to deal with them in such a way that we are not emotionally overwhelmed by them. (p.91)
Forgiveness is about covering over an offence. Many people say: "I can forgive, but I can't forget." They think that forgiveness requires amnesia and they can't seem to blank the painful event from memory.
The biblical take on forgiveness is that we cover over an offence.
Two illustrations may help:
When a child writes graffiti on a wall a parent may paint the wall again, but the writing may shine through and so another coat of paint may have to be painted over when the first coat has dried. This will have to be repeated until the writing doesn't shine through...
When Noah came out of the ark, he planted a vineyard and one afternoon overindulged in the fermented fruit of his labours. He collapsed in an indecent state and one of his sons took great delight in his dad's humiliation and enjoyed telling his two brothers about it.
They handled the matter very graciously and respectfully. They walked into the tent backwards, not looking at their dad and draped a blanket over him.
When we are hurt, wronged, offended or betrayed by another, it is very tempting to nurture the pain and carry it with us, so that whenever we remember the event we feel the heartache, anger and pain all over again.
BUT...
remembering to forget means we must paint over it, or cover over it until we can remember without pain.
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Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
