Forgiveness vs Bitterness #2 - Why and How should I forgive?
Why should we forgive? And how can we forgive when the hurt is so deep?
- Some people have been through incredible pain. Pain that seems impossible to forgive.
- Some people feel they just don't have the strength, and sometimes even the desire, to forgive.
- Some people are evil and unrepentant and don't seem worthy of forgiveness.
- Some differences just seem to be too great.
Paul is writing the the church in Ephesus talking to them about how to live transformed and Spirit-filled lives in the world.
In this passage Paul tells us WHY we forgive and HOW we can do it.
Let's start with the WHY.
Paul states it simply: we forgive because that's what God, in Christ, did for us.
This is powerful.
We sinned against God. We couldn't make it right.
So God sent Jesus. Jesus did nothing wrong, but we cruelly crucified Him.
Jesus modeled forgiveness in His prayer and desires: "Father forgive them..."
And He secured our forgiveness by laying down His life for us.
If we're children of God, if we're forgiven, then we should forgive.
And, to borrow from the parable of the unforgiving servant, which I examined when I preached on this subject, the debt from which we have been forgiven is much greater than the debt of forgiveness we owe. If God has forgiven me for so much, how can I withhold forgiveness from another soul for whom Jesus died? This does not diminish the seriousness of the sin committed against us or the pain we experience because of it, but it does place it in perspective.
Let's talk about the HOW.
The good news is that we don't have to do this all by ourselves.
Paul talks about the using our words for good and not harm and as he talks about dealing with aggressive desires like bitterness, rage, anger and such like. As he does so, he reminds us not to "grieve the Holy Spirit with whom we are sealed..."
The Holy Spirit is our helper. He will prompt, convict, empower, guide, strengthen and empower us to become more like Jesus. He will help us control our tongues. He will help us deal with malicious desires and tendencies and He will grow kindness and compassion in us, enabling us to forgive each other.
The problem is that we grieve the Spirit
- we do our own thing and push ahead in our own strength.
- we harden our hearts to His prompting.
- we resist His work of grace in us.
... and then we find it hard to forgive...
But when we answer the Spirit's promptings and walk closer to Jesus daily, we'll discover that He is transforming us and making us able to forgive.
- Some people have been through incredible pain. Pain that seems impossible to forgive.
- Some people feel they just don't have the strength, and sometimes even the desire, to forgive.
- Some people are evil and unrepentant and don't seem worthy of forgiveness.
- Some differences just seem to be too great.
Paul is writing the the church in Ephesus talking to them about how to live transformed and Spirit-filled lives in the world.
| Do
not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may
benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with
Whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all
bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form
of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians4:29-32) |
In this passage Paul tells us WHY we forgive and HOW we can do it.
Let's start with the WHY.
Paul states it simply: we forgive because that's what God, in Christ, did for us.
This is powerful.
We sinned against God. We couldn't make it right.
So God sent Jesus. Jesus did nothing wrong, but we cruelly crucified Him.
Jesus modeled forgiveness in His prayer and desires: "Father forgive them..."
And He secured our forgiveness by laying down His life for us.
If we're children of God, if we're forgiven, then we should forgive.
And, to borrow from the parable of the unforgiving servant, which I examined when I preached on this subject, the debt from which we have been forgiven is much greater than the debt of forgiveness we owe. If God has forgiven me for so much, how can I withhold forgiveness from another soul for whom Jesus died? This does not diminish the seriousness of the sin committed against us or the pain we experience because of it, but it does place it in perspective.
Let's talk about the HOW.
The good news is that we don't have to do this all by ourselves.
Paul talks about the using our words for good and not harm and as he talks about dealing with aggressive desires like bitterness, rage, anger and such like. As he does so, he reminds us not to "grieve the Holy Spirit with whom we are sealed..."
The Holy Spirit is our helper. He will prompt, convict, empower, guide, strengthen and empower us to become more like Jesus. He will help us control our tongues. He will help us deal with malicious desires and tendencies and He will grow kindness and compassion in us, enabling us to forgive each other.
The problem is that we grieve the Spirit
- we do our own thing and push ahead in our own strength.
- we harden our hearts to His prompting.
- we resist His work of grace in us.
... and then we find it hard to forgive...
But when we answer the Spirit's promptings and walk closer to Jesus daily, we'll discover that He is transforming us and making us able to forgive.
