EmmDev 2026-09-04 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Seasoned Words #4 - How to do it...

Seasoned Words #4 - How to do it...

After laying a doctrinal foundation for eleven chapters, Paul now reminds the church in Rome to live out their faith practically. Part of this practical living is peacemaking, de-escalation and conflict resolution. Let's see what he says:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans12:17-21)

How do we do all the things Paul is talking about?
How do we live in peace with everyone? How do we de-escalate anger, conflict and hostility?"

I think it takes three important steps:

1. PAUSE
   Slow down. Don't match the emotional temperature.
   Bring great calm into tense situations. Make sure you're not taking things personally and not acting out of emotion.
   
   
2. DISCERN
   What is actually happening?
   What's beneath these words?
   Where is emotion and anger blinding people?
   Where is there commonality?
   
   
3. SEASON
   Start with humility.
   Speak words that fit the moment.
   Make people feel heard and taken seriously.
   Make sure that what you are aiming for is to reveal grace and not your cleverness.

And, at the end of the day remember what the stakes are:
We are not trying to win arguments but to win people's hearts.
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EmmDevs will be pausing for two weeks...

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EmmDev 2026-09-03 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Seasoned Words #3 - Abigail's Example

Seasoned Words #3 - Abigail's Example

Our reading comes from the life of David, before he became king and while he was running from Saul. It was a tense and stressful time and a man named Nabal offended David greatly. The offense was so great that David set off to kill Nabal and wipe out his household.

Thankfully, Nabal's wife, Abigail, was a wise women who, when she heard about the offense, put together a wagon of supplies and set off to meet the furious David. Our reading is long, but the devotion is short...

Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I'll follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal. As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. David had just said, "It's been useless -- all my watching over this fellow's property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!" When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said: "Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name -- his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you. "Please forgive your servant's presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord's battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant." (1Samuel25:18-34)

Abigail's quick thinking, positive action and sincere words are a really excellent example of how to de-escalate a volatile situation.

• Her generous gift to David and his men indicates her serious commitment to healing the rift.
• By coming alone she indicates both vulnerability and trust
• In her words Abigail is both humble and smart:
  - she acknowledges Nabal's failure,
  - she recognises David's destiny and the pressure he has been under,
  - and she is bold enough to show David that giving in to his anger will damage his reputation.

Her actions and attitude stop David in his tracks and he exclaims: "Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands."

We are called, like Abigail, to be peace-makers.
Very often we will have to begin at a place of brokenness.
We will step into anger, tension, frustration and hurt.
And, with God's gracious help, we can bring calm and resolution.

Tomorrow we'll look at some practical how-to's...

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EmmDev 2026-09-02 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Seasoned Words #2 - Peacemakers

Seasoned Words #2 - Peacemakers

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew5:3-12)

There's really not much I can add to our reading.
Our world is full of war and conflict.
- Nation against nation
- Corporation against corporation
- Race, Culture and Tribe all locked in conflicts
- Gangs, Families, Spouses and Siblings damage each other with words, actions and inattention
- Friends and Neighbours are separated
- Religions, Ideals and Ideologies are at loggerheads.

And there's open conflict, hidden conflict and unspecified aggression.

And we're all hurting.

The Sermon on the Mount is the pinnacle (pun intended!) of Jesus' teaching.
In His striking introduction Jesus lists the nine groups of people as "blessed."
The seventh "blessed" is reserved for the peacemakers.
Those who de-escalate.
Those who are agents of reconciliation.
Those who reduce conflict, misunderstanding and aggression.

Each blessed state has its own reward: the Kingdom, comfort, the earth, being filled, mercy, seeing God or a great reward in heaven. However, to me, the reward of peacemaking is significant - being called "children of God."

And to some degree, the best peacemakers are those who are poor in spirit, who have mourned, are meek, hunger and thirst for righteousness and yet show mercy and remain pure in heart. And, interestingly, peacemakers are persecuted and insulted by those who don't want peace.

With our words, attitudes and closed-mindedness we can aid and abet conflict.
We need to make deep-rooted adjustments to undermine the powers that work against peace.
Being a peacemaker is not a hat we put on and take off as needed, it needs to be part of our nature.

When the deep desire for peace or wholeness or "shalom" is deeply rooted in us,
it seems that we most resemble God,
and people see it and call us His children.

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EmmDev 2026-09-01 [Wisdom for Every Day Life] Seasoned Words #1 - De-escalation

Seasoned Words #1 - De-escalation

In the sixth week of our Wisdom Series we look at "Seasoned Words" which is all about conflict resolution, de-escalation and peace-making in a world where outrage, conflict and vilification is the order of the day.

The book of Proverbs lays a great foundation by recognising the importance of the tongue. The tongue is a box of matches that can start great fires. We need to learn to use it well.

1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. 4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. 7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools. 18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. 23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word! (Proverbs15:1-23)

We have some modern-day proverbs too. My favourite two are:
"Words are like toothpaste, once they've been squeezed out you can't put them back."
"Make sure your brain is engaged before putting your mouth into gear."

But let's reflect on the proverbs we've read...

• vs.1 We all know that it is not only the words, but the tone with which they are delivered. Spouses know the subtleties of this one... "What's wrong honey?" "Nothing..." (When "Nothing" is spoken with folded arms, averted eyes and monotone you know trouble is brewing!) When harsh words are countered with harsh words, tempers flare quickly. But when harsh words are met with an even and reasonable tone, it calms the conversation.
  
  
• vs.2 Jesus warned that whatever fills the heart will flow from the mouth. When we feed our hearts and minds garbage, the mouth will echo that. It's amazing how people who didn't swear and cuss will eventually begin to do that if everyone around them and the movies that they watch do that. Wholesome talk (output) flows from wholesome input.
  
  
• vs.4 I find it so interesting that in this proverb, deceit functions as the opposite of healing. This is a very sobering thought. When our words are constructive, uplifting and affirming, we bring healing and this healing is a tree of life. Look at environments where this kind of speaking is the norm. People flourish, laughter abounds and self-images are solid. Look at environments where deceit, division and manipulation are the norm. What do you find there? Crushed spirits. (I can't imagine a greater sadness.)
  
  
• vs.7 The contrast here is striking. The wise spread knowledge with their LIPS, but although fools spread folly through their words, it is their HEARTS that the proverb writer sees. This should give us serious pause for thought.
  
  
• vs.18 The hot-tempered man stirs dissension, the patient man calms a quarrel. This speaks of an inner state. The hot-tempered person lives with anger that is ready to emerge at any point. Dissension gives them a place to vent. The opposite is patience, someone who is more at rest in themselves. Their peace is contagious.
  
  
• v.23 All our other verses have contrasted the positive and the negative. This verse dwells on the powerful benefit of a constructive and thoughtful tongue. It celebrates the apt reply and the timely word. Choosing the right tone, the appropriate words at the right time yields a result that is good and brings joy to the speaker. This should be our goal.

As we go into this week of seasoned words, may our words be constructive and timely and reflect a wholeness and patience within us that we nurture and protect.

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