EmmDev 2016-06-09 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Conflicts #5 Restorative Discipline

Conflicts #5 Restorative Discipline

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent--not to put it too severely. 6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 9 The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10 If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven--if there was anything to forgive--I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.      (2Corinthians2:5-11)

It seems that there was one individual in particular who had either fallen into gross sin or had become very rebellious. His actions affected and reflected on Paul particularly but also hurt the congregation significantly.

It would seem that Paul instituted discipline. One would imagine that this would have involved stripping the person of titles and responsibilities and possibly even excluding the person from the Lord's Supper or maybe even from the fellowship.

The purpose of this discipline would have been restorative rather than punitive. It would have been hoped that the individual would recognise what had been lost and would find his way back to the truth.

Paul is concerned that if the congregation acts punitively instead of restoratively, the man will be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow which could devolve into bitterness. And so Paul asks them to take another tough step....

To be sure: Discipline is a tough and courageous step. It's hard to demote someone or exclude them from communion or the fellowship - but this is done to help the person realise the seriousness of what is at stake. The next step is even harder: Forgive. To forgive the collective hurt and sense of betrayal that a community has experienced is not easy. The third difficult step is to reaffirm the love that they have for him - this means that they have to trust again. This also is not easy.

Paul leads by example - he subtly pressurises them: "If you forgive, I will forgive..." He has the most to forgive and he indicates that he will do this easily and so should they.

This process of restorative discipline is important. Satan infiltrates our fellowships in two ways: Firstly by making us too scared to discipline and so evil grows in our communities. And secondly by causing us to withhold forgiveness so that bitterness grows in our communities. Restorative discipline is the answer to both these dangers....

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EmmDev 2016-06-08 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Conflicts #4 Emotional Distance

Conflicts #4 Emotional Distance

So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I grieve you, who is left to make me glad but you whom I have grieved? 3 I wrote as I did so that when I came I should not be distressed by those who ought to make me rejoice. I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy. 4 For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.      (2Corinthians2:1-4)

Paul was the spiritual father of the congregation in Corinth. He'd seen the synagogue ruler and his family come to faith, he'd had confirmation from the Lord to continue to speak boldly and he ended up spending a year and a half there. (See Acts 18)

Leading someone to faith in Christ is one of most precious relational experiences we can have. The decision to become a Christ follower is the single most important step we will ever take. You can imagine the closeness that Paul felt to those who were converted through his ministry.

Bearing this in mind, I fully understand Paul's reticence about having another painful visit with the Corinthians. They were his spiritual children. He'd dropped in on them and discovered that things had gotten out of hand. (It seems there was one individual in particular who had had to be disciplined... but more on this tomorrow.)

I can just picture the scene: Paul coming in to Corinth looking forward to seeing his spiritual flock and children in the Lord, and discovering, to his horror, that there was a very very serious issue. Can you picture him? Going pale, swallowing hard, and feeling the stabbing pains of deep disappointment, betrayal, anger and disillusionment. Imagine the congregation's emotions: embarrassment, shame, defensiveness and blaming.

And so a sharp confrontation took place. And, in the aftermath, Paul decided to put some distance in place to facilitate healing.

Unfortunately mischievous forces moved in to take advantage of this situation and used Paul's absence to drive in a wedge of doubt and suspicion about Paul's character and intentions.

This is always the risk with conflict. Stepping back can be good if cooling down and healing is needed, but it is also risky and good relationships can be undermined. A careful balance between emotional distance and an affirming the relationship is needed.

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EmmDev 2016-06-07 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Conflicts #3 Ownership

Conflicts #3 Ownership

I call God as my witness that it was in order to spare you that I did not return to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith you stand firm.      (2Corinthians1:23-24)

There had been a breach in the relationship between Paul and the congregation in Corinth. We can't pinpoint the issue(s) exactly, but it would seem that they were serious issues around doctrine, discipline and their view of Paul as their founder/mentor/father-in-the-Lord.

Paul now explains that when these issues arose he did not rush back to Corinth to "lay down the law" or "take a firm hold of the situation". This is indicative of great maturity on the part of Paul. Every parent knows that there is a time to hold back when there is a temptation to charge in.

Paul is clear - he does not have a "Messiah complex" he did not take too much "ownership" over the congregation in Corinth. He did not take himself too seriously ("not that we lord it over your faith".) To charge in and rescue them from themselves may have caused them to trust in Paul instead of trusting in God. Paul was convinced that "it is by faith you stand firm."

We've all made mistakes in this area (especially as parents) - we hold on too tightly, we think that it all depends on us and when trouble comes, we wade in with a big mop.

Sometimes we have to trust the process.
Sometimes we have to trust the community/the child.
Sometimes we have to trust God.

Sometimes this is the best way to resolve conflict:
Take a step back, let things cool down, trust God.

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EmmDev 2016-06-03 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Digression: Yes and Amen!

Digression: Yes and Amen!

But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not "Yes" and "No." 19 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes." 20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. 21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.      (2Corinthians1:18-22)

Although Paul is addressing the serious pain of conflict between the Corinthian congregation and himself, he is still so captivated by the amazing good news of the gospel message that he could be distracted in mid-argument to talk about God's great "Yes."

In the previous verses Paul had been talking about how he did not make his plans lightly, saying "Yes-Yes" and then "No-No". His opponents accused him of being fickle, but Paul denies it. "Furthermore," he argues, "God is faithful! Our message is not 'yes/no' but 'YES'!"

All of God's promises are fulfilled in Christ and all of God's goodness is revealed in Him. All the promises of the Old Testament culminate in Christ who gave Himself for us.

We can shout "Amen!" because we stand firm in Christ.
And there are three things in particular that make this true:

1. He anointed us. (This means we have been set apart)
2. He set His seal of ownership on us. (This means we belong to Him)
3. He puts His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit. (This means that it's certain.)

These three points are all made possible by the presence of God's Spirit in our hearts. Our faith is a certain thing because God Himself dwells in our hearts through His Spirit.

We can shout "Amen!" because our God is not fickle.
His "Yes and Yes" are the cross and the presence of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. We are not without purpose, we belong to Him and our hope is completely certain. Jesus made the down-payment to our eternity when He sent His Spirit into our hearts.

Do I hear an "Amen!"?

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EmmDev 2016-06-02 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Conflicts #2 Assumptions

Conflicts #2 Assumptions

Because I was confident of this, I planned to visit you first so that you might benefit twice. 16 I planned to visit you on my way to Macedonia and to come back to you from Macedonia, and then to have you send me on my way to Judea. 17 When I planned this, did I do it lightly? Or do I make my plans in a worldly manner so that in the same breath I say, "Yes, yes" and "No, no"?      (2Corinthians1:15-17)

There are two assumptions that were made in the relationship between Paul and the congregation in Corinth.

The first assumption was one that Paul had. He assumed that the 18 month track-record he had with the Corinthians when he stayed with them was a firm foundation. He was "confident of this" - the "this" being the relationship he described in the previous verses.

As it turns out, unfortunately, people quickly forget the best about others and their faith and confidence in them can be shaken by absence, miscommunication and hardship.

This is what happened in this relationship. Paul had made an arrangement with them and when the itinerary changed, the second assumption came into play. The congregation in Corinth assumed that Paul had made this promise lightly and therefore broke it easily.

Paul has to defend himself asking "Do you really think I'm the kind of guy who makes promises he intends to break? Do I say yes-yes and no-no in the same sentence?" It's a rhetorical question and the answer he's expecting is "Of course not."

Unfortunately, with a bit of prompting from malicious outsiders, this second assumption took root in Corinthian hearts and the good relationship that Paul initially assumed to be strong was badly damaged.

Two lessons to learn:

1. Relationships are fragile. We can't assume that they will remain robust. We have to nurture and strengthen them constantly.
2. It's very easy to assume the wrong things about a relationship and these assumptions can cause great damage. We have to guard our hearts against assuming too quickly

This is serious food for thought...

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EmmDev 2016-06-01 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Conflicts #1

Conflicts #1

Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to worldly wisdom but according to God's grace. 13 For we do not write you anything you cannot read or understand. And I hope that, 14 as you have understood us in part, you will come to understand fully that you can boast of us just as we will boast of you in the day of the Lord Jesus.      (2Corinthians1:12-14)

Paul's letter changes gear after his introduction. There is a tension between him and the Corinthians. He had laid out an itinerary that included two visits to the Corinthians. Along the way it seems that Paul had also made a quick unscheduled visit where he came across some problems in the congregation and wrote them a tough letter about this. This had strained the relationship with him and the congregation. Various circumstances and the strain in the relationship caused Paul to revisit his itinerary and postpone his promised visit.

Some of Paul's opponents, Jews who were preaching a legalistic Christianity, used the cancellation to widen the rift between Paul and the Corinthians. They portrayed Paul as unreliable and fickle and sowed seeds of great negativity towards Paul in the congregation.

Paul grabs the bull by the horns as he addresses the accusations, the conflict and the pain.

His starting point is the 18 months that he spent in Corinth when he planted the church. In effect he is saying: "How can you so quickly doubt me? Think back. Think about when we planted the church - how did we behave? What was the fruit of our lives? Were we not holy and sincere? Did we rely on the "gift of the gab" or "tricks of the trade" or did you experience God's grace through us? C'mon guys this isn't rocket science - you know what we were like then, and, when you see us again you'll just see more of the same and you'll want to boast about us instead of doubting us in our absence."

I have seen this scenario play itself out again and again in people's relationships. People have been friends for years and then one misunderstanding, one mistake, one voice sowing doubt and years of faithfulness are cast aside. We are so easily misled by our emotions. We are so easily offended, we are so quick to listen to other voices.

Paul's voice of quiet reason is important:
Slow down. Think! Review...
Understand what is going on...
Put it in perspective!
Be reasonable.

Our relationships would be better if we learned to do this!

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Theo Groeneveld
Emmanuel Presby Church
theo@emmanuel.org.za Cell: 082-5510752

EmmDev 2016-05-27 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Hardships

Hardships

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favour granted us in answer to the prayers of many.      (2Corinthians1:8-11)

We don't have enough detail to pinpoint exactly what the hardships were that Paul suffered in Asia Minor. If we follow Paul's steps in Acts we see that he returns to his home-base in Antioch after being in Corinth and then he embarks on his third mission trip, re-visiting churches in Asia Minor. In Acts 19 there is the riot in Ephesus led by Demetrius the silversmith whose idol-making business is being threatened by Paul's preaching of the gospel. This may be the event Paul was referring to, but it may also be something else.

What we can agree on is that the hardship was significant: Paul experienced intense pressure that overwhelmed him and caused him to fear for his life.

There are a few things Paul takes from his own hardship:

1. Being stretched causes us to rely on God and not ourselves. God is not the author of pain and hardship, but they bring us to a place where we discover our insufficiency. Adam and Eve wanted to be their own gods and so do we. None of us like being at the point that we are out of strength or out of answers or both. Hardship and trouble can jolt us out of narcissism and the all-consuming independence of ego. It put things in perspective: as cute and clever as we are, we are mortal, frail and fallible. We can't raise the dead - but God can!
2. God is faithful - He will deliver us. Paul reiterates this thought four times:
   - He raises the dead
   - He has delivered us in the past
   - He will deliver us as we put our hope in Him
   - He will continue to deliver us as you pray
   We can't always say how or when, but God will work in our situation!
3. Prayer helps. This is a mystery and it can be brain-bending to try and figure it out. For example: Do we thwart God's plans if we fail to pray? I like to think of a son helping his dad to push the lawn-mower. Dad can and will do it by himself (the lawn needs mowing) but enjoys doing it with his son... God inspires prayer, He assists our prayers through the Holy Spirit, His Son Jesus also prays for us and God answers prayer. Prayer is more about relationship than results and God chooses to include our prayers as a factor in His working in the world. I like Paul's view: Prayer helps and by prayer we get to participate in God's deliverance.
4. Thanksgiving and God's glory is important. When we are overwhelmed and come through it, it is not of ourselves, but because of God's deliverance and we should resist the temptation to pretend that it was our cuteness or cleverness that got us through. Let's give all the glory to God!

Sunday worship is a good antidote to the narcissism that threatens us, it is a good reminder of God's faithfulness in the past, present and future, it is also a place where we can pray for others and joyfully give thanks for all the times we have been delivered. Don't miss this Sunday Celebration!!!

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EmmDev 2016-05-26 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Trouble Subverted

Trouble Subverted

If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.      (2Corinthians1:6-7)

God is not the author of pain and heartache. These have their origin in the brokenness of our world which is a result of our rebellion and disobedience.

But God subversively works in spite of and in the midst of our pain and struggle.
He brings about good where evil tried to have the last say.
He brings healing where evil tried to destroy us.
He brings hope when evil tried to leave us desolate.
He brings love when evil tried to plant hate.
He brings peace when evil tried to destabilise us.

Paul gives a great example of this in our text today.
He talks about how his suffering and his comfort helped the church in Corinth.

How did Paul's suffering help the Corinthians? Firstly Paul's distress comforts the Corinthians in the sense that they know they are not alone. Secondly, it was the persecution Paul experienced in Thesalonica that pushed him to Athens and then Corinth which literally led to salvation for many of them. (See Acts 17-18) ^^

And how did his comfort help them? Well, Paul was able to share the comfort he received from God with the Corinthians and this gave them hope and the tools they would need to survive the persecutions that they too would experience. They would then be able to pass this on to others creating a subversive evil-defeating-chain-reaction.

Suffering is a reality in our world. It is not always avoidable or preventable but we can be comforted in the certainty that God is at work subversively bringing out good where evil had both the right and power to destroy us.

Have you been comforted in trouble???
Be sure to be part of the evil-defeating-chain-reaction by sharing that comfort!!

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^^(Paul later makes reference to suffering he experienced in Asia which may have pre- or post- dated his founding of the church in Corinth. There is just not enough detail in the passage to determine exactly which it is. (More on this tomorrow...) )

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EmmDev 2016-05-24 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Comforting Father(3)

Comforting Father(3)

The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.      (Exodus34:6-7)

Paul has been introducing his letter to the Corinthians by talking about the Father as the God of all comfort and the Father of compassion... He is simply joining a long tradition... Centuries earlier Moses had an encounter with God and, in spite of the holiness of the moment - in which God's transcendence and magnificence were evident, the lasting impression Moses had was of compassion and grace.

We have to be reminded of this all the time. Adam and Eve hid from God when they heard Him walking in the garden and we tend to do the same. It is our brokenness and guilt which makes us avoid and distance ourselves when we think about God. But God, while being holy and sinless, has made a way for us to enjoy and experience His presence. When Jesus offered Himself in our place, the temple curtain that separated the holy of holies from the rest of the temple was torn from top to bottom.

Moses could only see the back of God because His glory was too great and holy. The Israelites could not enter the holy of holies because they were not holy (and even the high priest only went once a year after careful preparation!) But when the Father sent His Son into the world to be a sacrifice for our sin, it was an act of incredible compassion and grace. It fulfilled everything that Moses had heard and seen.

But the Father also planned to pour out His Spirit on the church and so Jesus spoke of a Comforter/Counsellor/Companion (that's how we need to translate the Greek word 'paracletos') who He would send into our hearts - the Holy Spirit.

No matter what we have done or been through.
Whether we have scraped the bottom of the barrel of sin or
whether we are being squeezed and pressed by an anti-god society,
we come to a welcoming, compassionate and gracious God.

It's gooooooood news!

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EmmDev 2016-05-20 [Treasure in Clay Pots (2Cor)] Comforting Father(2)

Comforting Father(2)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God      (2Corinthians1:3-4)

Believing in God as Father is difficult for some whose earthly fathers have been absent, abusive or cold-hearted. Others think about Father Christmas when they think about God as Father - a sugar daddy who spoils us with gifts based on our behaviour but is pretty much absent in times of trouble or pain.

Part of the problem is that we think that God needed to reveal Himself to us and so He said "Well, everyone has a father and fathers are generally good guys so I'll reveal myself as father..." (Theologians call this anthropomorphism - God morphing into anthropological terms to help us understand Him)

What if it was the other way around? That God was Father (and Mother^) first and that we, who are His image-bearers, are to reflect these facets of His nature and we either do it well or badly?

Could it be that bad fathers obscure the reflection God's nature in themselves and that good fathers reveal more of Him and less of their own brokenness?

The Father Paul reveals here is awesome:

• He is the Father of Jesus, And Jesus loved Him and trusted Him so much that He was willing to say "Not my will but yours be done" and went to the cross.
• He is the God of all comfort. He had to watch His Son carry the weight of our brokenness and His heart was broken over our sin. He understands pain. (As an imperfect earthly father I would rather give my own life than sacrifice my son Caleb's)
• He comforts us. He sent His Son. He sends His Spirit. He finds sulking Jonah outside Nineveh. He finds Elijah burnt out under the broom tree. He finds Hagar and Ishmael alone in the wilderness. He sees and hears and comes down to the Israelites in slavery in Egypt. When the world was broken and lost He sent His Son.

Take the word Father and embody it with the VERY BEST you have seen of Fatherhood and you have only scraped the surface of what God is like.
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^ The Scriptures portray God as Mother ("Can a mother forget her children" (Isaiah 49:15) "As a mother comforts her child I will comfort you (Isaiah 66:13)) It think it is important to recognise that God transcends male and female but when human beings reflect the nature of God, they often do it as "mother" or "father" and when they do it well, God's nature is reflected.)

^^ Patriarchal societies have focussed on God as Father almost to the exclusion of the truth that God is also Mother. Some have compromised by talking about God as the "perfect parent" but some of the richness is lost. I believe it is best to just do justice to the concepts as Scripture gives them to us.

(This eDev is a "reprint" from the Apostle's Creed series - we'll take one more look at this passage on Tuesday.)

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