Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew5:23-24
Someone said: "Unforgiveness is drinking poison and hoping the one we are mad at will die."
While unforgiveness is a topic all in itself - it is relevant here in that it has an impact on our self-images in the sense that we are unable to experience and know the forgiveness of God. This is why we pray: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."
When we hold on to the pain that others have caused us, it causes all sorts of complicated filters that sit in our psyche and interfere with our ability to function normally.
For example: If I hold on to a hurt of a past relationship, I adopt the attitude of "once-bitten, twice shy" and never give myself fully in subsequent relationships. Or if I have been hurt by the betrayal of a loved one in the past, I jump to quick (and wrong) conclusions when the circumstances are similar (even if it is another person)
To forgive is to choose to remember without pain and fear.
To forgive is to break the grip that those who have hurt us have over us.
To forgive is to refute the lie that we somehow deserve what was done to us.
Sometimes forgiveness can happen without the other person present, but there are times when forgiveness and reconciliation need to happen together. This is best started with an honest, unconditional apology when we have been out of line from our side.
When we let those who have hurt us go, we often discover that it is us who find real freedom. Thunk! There's a filter that has just landed in the bin!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Thursday, March 25, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-25 [Self-image] Filters: Forgive Yourself
(A little longer today - but very NB!)
-----------------------------------------
14 How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! Hebrews9:14
The writer of the letter to the Hebrews knew something important: We have a hard time forgiving ourselves.
Some people say that our consciences are actually the Holy Spirit whispering His truth into our hearts. This is not entirely accurate. We all have a conscience - a set of values that help us differentiate right and wrong. Our consciences are a place where God can and does speak to us powerfully through the Holy Spirit.
But our consciences can be damaged in two ways:
1. They can be seared or corrupted (1Tim4:2 and Titus1:15). When this happens, we care less and less about the things we have done wrong.
2. But our consciences can also become weak and we doubt our position with God and the reality of our "being-forgiven." Paul describes this in detail when he deals with the Corinthian problem of meat sacrificed to idols.
In Corinth, just about all the meat that was on sale had been slaughtered in one of the many pagan temples in the city. It was believed that whenever you ate this meat, you honoured the deity of that temple.
Paul's take was simple:
1. There is only one true God.
2. So, eating meat that was dedicated to false gods was meaningless and harmless to the Christian who ate in thanksgiving to the One True God.
BUT some people had weak consciences - they still carried with them the superstitions of the past and so they were threatened by the eating of the meat. Paul's _interim_ advice was not to eat meat in front of them until their consciences had been transformed by the truth.
Jesus' death does not only cancel the legal debt of our sins and brokenness, but His blood will also heal our consciences. This means that we can begin to forgive ourselves.
If you are struggling to love yourself and forgive yourself or if you are paralysed by a sense of failure and brokenness to the point that you are unable to freely receive the love and forgiveness offered by Christ, then it may be time to ask Jesus to heal your conscience.
He can, He does and He will!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
-----------------------------------------
14 How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! Hebrews9:14
The writer of the letter to the Hebrews knew something important: We have a hard time forgiving ourselves.
Some people say that our consciences are actually the Holy Spirit whispering His truth into our hearts. This is not entirely accurate. We all have a conscience - a set of values that help us differentiate right and wrong. Our consciences are a place where God can and does speak to us powerfully through the Holy Spirit.
But our consciences can be damaged in two ways:
1. They can be seared or corrupted (1Tim4:2 and Titus1:15). When this happens, we care less and less about the things we have done wrong.
2. But our consciences can also become weak and we doubt our position with God and the reality of our "being-forgiven." Paul describes this in detail when he deals with the Corinthian problem of meat sacrificed to idols.
In Corinth, just about all the meat that was on sale had been slaughtered in one of the many pagan temples in the city. It was believed that whenever you ate this meat, you honoured the deity of that temple.
Paul's take was simple:
1. There is only one true God.
2. So, eating meat that was dedicated to false gods was meaningless and harmless to the Christian who ate in thanksgiving to the One True God.
BUT some people had weak consciences - they still carried with them the superstitions of the past and so they were threatened by the eating of the meat. Paul's _interim_ advice was not to eat meat in front of them until their consciences had been transformed by the truth.
Jesus' death does not only cancel the legal debt of our sins and brokenness, but His blood will also heal our consciences. This means that we can begin to forgive ourselves.
If you are struggling to love yourself and forgive yourself or if you are paralysed by a sense of failure and brokenness to the point that you are unable to freely receive the love and forgiveness offered by Christ, then it may be time to ask Jesus to heal your conscience.
He can, He does and He will!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-24 [Self-image] Filters: Experience Forgiveness
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John8:34
-----------------------------
Quick revision:
We identified three key contributing factors to poor self-images:
1.Brokenness: we live in an imperfect world with imperfect bodies and imperfect relationships.
2.Distortion: our views of reality, others and ourselves are distorted and cause us heartache
3.Filters: when we experience the pain of brokenness and distortion we often create filters that cause us to interpret the signals we get wrongly.
We've worked through brokenness and distortion and now we look at how we deal with filters in our souls and memories.
------------------------------
Whether we have sinned or have been sinned against - there is a good chance that we experience guilt - a sense of being dirty. I remember counselling a woman who had been raped who felt guilty even though she had not "provoked" or "asked for" what had happened to her. Her healing came when we asked the Lord to forgive what had been done _to_ her.
When we don't experience forgiveness, we are slaves to this sense of guilt and dirtiness and it becomes a filter through which the rest of life's input comes.
If any or all of the following are true:
- we cannot bear criticism (even if it is constructive)
- we are cynical and suspicious of people who try to befriend us
- we doubt and are sceptical of compliments, often fending them off
- we fear any level of self-disclosure
Then...
...there is probably a filter in place - a bad experience that has left a bad taste in our mouths and we go into fight or flight mode whenever something happens that is similar to what we went through.
Jesus sets us free. When our sin or the sin of others puts us in a place of slavery to the past and past hurts, then the blood of Christ is expensive enough to set us free! We can experience forgiveness for what we've done AND for what has been done _to_ us!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
-----------------------------
Quick revision:
We identified three key contributing factors to poor self-images:
1.Brokenness: we live in an imperfect world with imperfect bodies and imperfect relationships.
2.Distortion: our views of reality, others and ourselves are distorted and cause us heartache
3.Filters: when we experience the pain of brokenness and distortion we often create filters that cause us to interpret the signals we get wrongly.
We've worked through brokenness and distortion and now we look at how we deal with filters in our souls and memories.
------------------------------
Whether we have sinned or have been sinned against - there is a good chance that we experience guilt - a sense of being dirty. I remember counselling a woman who had been raped who felt guilty even though she had not "provoked" or "asked for" what had happened to her. Her healing came when we asked the Lord to forgive what had been done _to_ her.
When we don't experience forgiveness, we are slaves to this sense of guilt and dirtiness and it becomes a filter through which the rest of life's input comes.
If any or all of the following are true:
- we cannot bear criticism (even if it is constructive)
- we are cynical and suspicious of people who try to befriend us
- we doubt and are sceptical of compliments, often fending them off
- we fear any level of self-disclosure
Then...
...there is probably a filter in place - a bad experience that has left a bad taste in our mouths and we go into fight or flight mode whenever something happens that is similar to what we went through.
Jesus sets us free. When our sin or the sin of others puts us in a place of slavery to the past and past hurts, then the blood of Christ is expensive enough to set us free! We can experience forgiveness for what we've done AND for what has been done _to_ us!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-23 [Self-image] Distortion: Find Godly Community
11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1John4:11-12
There is a powerful antidote to distortion: Godly Community.
When we are part of a community where Christ is central and we all stand on the level ground before the cross, we can experience a freedom that can be found nowhere else.
Biblical Community is based on a realistic self-perspective: we are not perfect, but we are perfectly and PASSIONately loved. We don't have it all together, but our Saviour does.
And then there's this amazing thing that happens when we are in Biblical Community: We discover that loving others doesn't cost us as much as we thought it would, and, as we love each other, we are experiencing God more and more and we have an increasing experience of His love for us!
Sometimes churches get caught up in pride, politics, prattle and prejudice but this is usually when a church loses focus on its Saviour and its purpose. When the church's focus is right it is a powerful healing community.
You can go it alone or find a healing Godly community.
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
1John4:11-12
There is a powerful antidote to distortion: Godly Community.
When we are part of a community where Christ is central and we all stand on the level ground before the cross, we can experience a freedom that can be found nowhere else.
Biblical Community is based on a realistic self-perspective: we are not perfect, but we are perfectly and PASSIONately loved. We don't have it all together, but our Saviour does.
And then there's this amazing thing that happens when we are in Biblical Community: We discover that loving others doesn't cost us as much as we thought it would, and, as we love each other, we are experiencing God more and more and we have an increasing experience of His love for us!
Sometimes churches get caught up in pride, politics, prattle and prejudice but this is usually when a church loses focus on its Saviour and its purpose. When the church's focus is right it is a powerful healing community.
You can go it alone or find a healing Godly community.
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Thursday, March 18, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-18 [Self-image] Distortion: New Operating System
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans12:2
Many of you know that I don't use Windows on my computer. I use an Operating System called Linux. An operating system (OS) is a set of values and programming instructions that build the bridge between the different parts of the hardware of the computer. The operating system also creates the user-interface that allows you to communicate with the computer.
When it comes to the distorted feedback we get from the media and "in-crowd" of the world we have to adopt a new operating system. God's operating system has a different set of base values compared with that of the world.
The World OS says that our value is derived from our coolness, that there is no such thing as a free lunch and that it is the survival of the fittest.
God's OS says that we are valued because God loves us, that loving others is the way to go and we can't survive without His grace working in our lives (and grace is free because Jesus paid for us all.)
We have to re-format the hard-drives of our minds. We have to reboot our memories that are full of unforgiveness .i.e. give resentment the boot! We need to up-load a new user-interface of love and compassion and need to open the ports of our heart to download His love into our lives.
Unless we get this new operating system it will still be the same old broken self on the screen...
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Many of you know that I don't use Windows on my computer. I use an Operating System called Linux. An operating system (OS) is a set of values and programming instructions that build the bridge between the different parts of the hardware of the computer. The operating system also creates the user-interface that allows you to communicate with the computer.
When it comes to the distorted feedback we get from the media and "in-crowd" of the world we have to adopt a new operating system. God's operating system has a different set of base values compared with that of the world.
The World OS says that our value is derived from our coolness, that there is no such thing as a free lunch and that it is the survival of the fittest.
God's OS says that we are valued because God loves us, that loving others is the way to go and we can't survive without His grace working in our lives (and grace is free because Jesus paid for us all.)
We have to re-format the hard-drives of our minds. We have to reboot our memories that are full of unforgiveness .i.e. give resentment the boot! We need to up-load a new user-interface of love and compassion and need to open the ports of our heart to download His love into our lives.
Unless we get this new operating system it will still be the same old broken self on the screen...
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-17 [Self-image] Distortion: Get a Guide
15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Romans8:15-16
We identified three key contributing factors to poor self-images:
- brokenness: we live in an imperfect world with imperfect bodies and imperfect relationships.
- distortion: our views of reality, others and ourselves are distorted and cause us heartache
- filters: when we experience the pain of brokenness and distortion we often create filters that cause us to interpret the signals we get wrongly.
How do we address the distortion caused by the "hall of mirrors" effect that the media and society has on how we see ourselves?
The first step is to get a Reliable Guide. Our parents, our friends, fashion and the media are not reliable guides. Our Reliable Guide is the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit whispers a vital truth into our inmost beings: We are sons and daughters of God. We don't have to earn it and we most certainly haven't deserved it. We are _adopted_ by God - we are His children by _His_ decision and not on our merits.
When the world tells us that we are inadequate and undeserving of love because we are not cool, or because we don't look like super-models, or because we have failed in the past, then lets listen to the "Voice of Truth."
VOICE OF TRUTH (A song by Casting Crowns)
==========================================
Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is, and he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a 1000 warriors shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop
and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
We identified three key contributing factors to poor self-images:
- brokenness: we live in an imperfect world with imperfect bodies and imperfect relationships.
- distortion: our views of reality, others and ourselves are distorted and cause us heartache
- filters: when we experience the pain of brokenness and distortion we often create filters that cause us to interpret the signals we get wrongly.
How do we address the distortion caused by the "hall of mirrors" effect that the media and society has on how we see ourselves?
The first step is to get a Reliable Guide. Our parents, our friends, fashion and the media are not reliable guides. Our Reliable Guide is the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit whispers a vital truth into our inmost beings: We are sons and daughters of God. We don't have to earn it and we most certainly haven't deserved it. We are _adopted_ by God - we are His children by _His_ decision and not on our merits.
When the world tells us that we are inadequate and undeserving of love because we are not cool, or because we don't look like super-models, or because we have failed in the past, then lets listen to the "Voice of Truth."
VOICE OF TRUTH (A song by Casting Crowns)
==========================================
Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is, and he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a 1000 warriors shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop
and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Friday, March 12, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-12 [Self-image] Broken? Recover your purpose
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah29:11-13
Our brokenness causes a loss of purpose. We become self-centred and self-absorbed - but this is not a purpose that satisfies.
We long for purpose and direction. We want our lives to count for something. We struggle with futility.
This was Israel's struggle. Their rampant idolatry and sinfulness led to their defeat at the hands of the Babylonians and the destruction of Jerusalem and their idolised temple. They found themselves in Exile - "by the Rivers of Babylon" - where they were sucked up in a day to day grind of slavery and loss of purpose.
Jeremiah writes them a letter to reassure and awaken them:
- God still has a plan for them and the plan is not thwarted by their failure.
- These plans provide hope and a future.
- But in order to link into these plans, they will need to seek God.
Paul gives the Ephesians a similar sense of hope: Having described humankind's fall into sin and how Christ rescues us from our sin-debt through grace alone, he then reminds them: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Eph2:10)
The Greek word for "workmanship" can also be translated "handiwork" or "masterpiece" and gives a sense that God is personally involved in the shape and direction of our lives. Even in our brokenness, God has plans that we can slot into and find real purpose and direction.
The bottom line? You can mope at the "Rivers of Babylon" or you can embrace the restoring forgiveness of God and plug into the dream He has for us!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Our brokenness causes a loss of purpose. We become self-centred and self-absorbed - but this is not a purpose that satisfies.
We long for purpose and direction. We want our lives to count for something. We struggle with futility.
This was Israel's struggle. Their rampant idolatry and sinfulness led to their defeat at the hands of the Babylonians and the destruction of Jerusalem and their idolised temple. They found themselves in Exile - "by the Rivers of Babylon" - where they were sucked up in a day to day grind of slavery and loss of purpose.
Jeremiah writes them a letter to reassure and awaken them:
- God still has a plan for them and the plan is not thwarted by their failure.
- These plans provide hope and a future.
- But in order to link into these plans, they will need to seek God.
Paul gives the Ephesians a similar sense of hope: Having described humankind's fall into sin and how Christ rescues us from our sin-debt through grace alone, he then reminds them: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Eph2:10)
The Greek word for "workmanship" can also be translated "handiwork" or "masterpiece" and gives a sense that God is personally involved in the shape and direction of our lives. Even in our brokenness, God has plans that we can slot into and find real purpose and direction.
The bottom line? You can mope at the "Rivers of Babylon" or you can embrace the restoring forgiveness of God and plug into the dream He has for us!
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Thursday, March 11, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-11 [Self-image] Broken? Set free from Failure
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Colossians2:13
Have you got an uncouth, rebellious and heathen inner-being?
When Jews talked about the gentiles (non-Jews) as "uncircumcised" they meant it in the derogatory sense of an uncivilised heathen. (Similarly, the Greeks had a word for a non-greek: "Barbaroi" - go figure!)
Paul's phrase, "the uncircumcision of your sinful nature," is his way of talking about our brokenness - our tendency to do evil even when we want to be good. (Our "barbarian" spirits...)
The problem as far as our self-images go, is that we are flawed deep within. Our faults are not only skin-deep. At the very core of our being, we are selfish, self-serving, ambitious and arrogant and even our best deeds are tainted with these motives.
No matter what pretences we put up, there is no escaping the lack of peace that lurks at the core of our beings: Instinctively we know that we are not right with God.
Christ sets us free from failure.
He cancels the written code, the law, that reveals our failures and lists our punishments. He cancels it at great cost - paying it in full through His death on the cross.
Jesus says on John 8:36
"If the Son sets you free - you will be free indeed!"
Next time you feel that numbing sense of failure, you can look in the mirror and say "I may have done something stupid and I may have to live through the practical consequences of my failures, but I am free (and much-loved!) because Christ paid a great price to cancel my sin-debts."
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Have you got an uncouth, rebellious and heathen inner-being?
When Jews talked about the gentiles (non-Jews) as "uncircumcised" they meant it in the derogatory sense of an uncivilised heathen. (Similarly, the Greeks had a word for a non-greek: "Barbaroi" - go figure!)
Paul's phrase, "the uncircumcision of your sinful nature," is his way of talking about our brokenness - our tendency to do evil even when we want to be good. (Our "barbarian" spirits...)
The problem as far as our self-images go, is that we are flawed deep within. Our faults are not only skin-deep. At the very core of our being, we are selfish, self-serving, ambitious and arrogant and even our best deeds are tainted with these motives.
No matter what pretences we put up, there is no escaping the lack of peace that lurks at the core of our beings: Instinctively we know that we are not right with God.
Christ sets us free from failure.
He cancels the written code, the law, that reveals our failures and lists our punishments. He cancels it at great cost - paying it in full through His death on the cross.
Jesus says on John 8:36
"If the Son sets you free - you will be free indeed!"
Next time you feel that numbing sense of failure, you can look in the mirror and say "I may have done something stupid and I may have to live through the practical consequences of my failures, but I am free (and much-loved!) because Christ paid a great price to cancel my sin-debts."
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-10 [Self-image] Broken? Experience Unconditional Love
9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1John4:9-10
Brokenness makes us feel unlovable:
Our physical defects cause us to feel unattractive.
Our personality flaws make us insecure.
Our lapses ("accidental" sins) make us feel pathetic
and our willfull sins leave us feeling unforgivably guilty.
We cover for these things with inflated, deflated or alter egos. We push our perceived strengths over the top, often creating more pain and frustration. Sometimes we shrink on the inside, convincing ourselves that we can't cope when there are actually a lot of tools left in our toolboxes. Then there are the times that we try to be all things to all people, but being a chameleon on a smartiebox is exhausting.
The real key to overcoming brokenness is to realise that God offers us unconditional love. We are deeply and awesomely loved by God. We do not have to achieve lovability and we don't have to live up to an expectation.
John tells us that God loved us before we even thought of Him.
That God took the first steps toward us and when our brokenness got in the way, God paid the most costly price to set that brokenness aside.
This is the only sensible foundation for a healthy self-image:
It's not that I am kind-of ok.
It's not that "I am not really so bad you know."
It's that even if my face was rotted away by some wasting disease, even if I was a pathological liar, if I wasted every opportunity God gave me and if I spent my days hurting those around me, God would look past all of my appearances and bad performances and see inside me a person who He has made and loves. And He wouldn't love me any less than He loves Mother Theresa.
My lovability comes from God's decision and not my performance.
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Brokenness makes us feel unlovable:
Our physical defects cause us to feel unattractive.
Our personality flaws make us insecure.
Our lapses ("accidental" sins) make us feel pathetic
and our willfull sins leave us feeling unforgivably guilty.
We cover for these things with inflated, deflated or alter egos. We push our perceived strengths over the top, often creating more pain and frustration. Sometimes we shrink on the inside, convincing ourselves that we can't cope when there are actually a lot of tools left in our toolboxes. Then there are the times that we try to be all things to all people, but being a chameleon on a smartiebox is exhausting.
The real key to overcoming brokenness is to realise that God offers us unconditional love. We are deeply and awesomely loved by God. We do not have to achieve lovability and we don't have to live up to an expectation.
John tells us that God loved us before we even thought of Him.
That God took the first steps toward us and when our brokenness got in the way, God paid the most costly price to set that brokenness aside.
This is the only sensible foundation for a healthy self-image:
It's not that I am kind-of ok.
It's not that "I am not really so bad you know."
It's that even if my face was rotted away by some wasting disease, even if I was a pathological liar, if I wasted every opportunity God gave me and if I spent my days hurting those around me, God would look past all of my appearances and bad performances and see inside me a person who He has made and loves. And He wouldn't love me any less than He loves Mother Theresa.
My lovability comes from God's decision and not my performance.
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
EMMDEV 2010-03-09 [Self-image] Highway to Destruction
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Romans1:21
So, to summarise the roots of poor self-image, there are three factors:
1. The Aftermath of Sin which results in brokenness: Birth-defects, natural disasters, and skew noses on the one side and relational breakdown on the other.
2. The Distorted Mirror of Society that sells our wants to us as needs and makes attractiveness an impossible standard that we exhaust ourselves trying to achieve.
3. The Filters of Past Pain that mute the positives and amplify the negatives.
Bizarrely enough all of this leads us away from God and to an obsession with self - but in the most negative sense. We spend way too much time, self-analysing, self-criticising, self-hating and self-destructing.
The further we move away from God, the more our hearts become dark and the more futile our thinking becomes. The route toward a better self-image is for us to get to know our Maker and Sustainer and allow Him to heal our brokenness, to clarify our distortions and to remove our filters.
He can, He does and He will.
We'll look at some key passages through the rest of this week.
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
So, to summarise the roots of poor self-image, there are three factors:
1. The Aftermath of Sin which results in brokenness: Birth-defects, natural disasters, and skew noses on the one side and relational breakdown on the other.
2. The Distorted Mirror of Society that sells our wants to us as needs and makes attractiveness an impossible standard that we exhaust ourselves trying to achieve.
3. The Filters of Past Pain that mute the positives and amplify the negatives.
Bizarrely enough all of this leads us away from God and to an obsession with self - but in the most negative sense. We spend way too much time, self-analysing, self-criticising, self-hating and self-destructing.
The further we move away from God, the more our hearts become dark and the more futile our thinking becomes. The route toward a better self-image is for us to get to know our Maker and Sustainer and allow Him to heal our brokenness, to clarify our distortions and to remove our filters.
He can, He does and He will.
We'll look at some key passages through the rest of this week.
---
--------------------------
Theo Groeneveld theo@emmanuel.org.za
You can see past EmmDevs at http://emmdev.blogspot.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)