Examen 2: Pursued
The fact that God knows us so intimately can cause us to want to flee. We are acutely aware of our sinfulness and of His holiness. Like Adam and Eve in the garden we tend to hide when He comes walking and calling.The Psalmist is almost exasperated: "Why won't He leave me alone? Why can't I just sink into my darkness - why does He follow me when I try to escape His holy presence?"
The answer is simple: Only God can turn our darkness into light - only He can fix us. We can't "go and sort ourselves out" and come back to God when we've got everything on track. When we run, it just gets worse and worse.
So God pursues us. He sends His messengers and His reminders. He surrounds us with signs and symbols of His love and presence. We feel pursued and harassed by God and at times even rebellious. But He is there so that even in our rebellion we don't have to destroy ourselves.
What would make Him do this? Why would He keep coming after us? Why, when again and again I run and I hide?
The story of the prophet Hosea illustrates this powerfully: Hosea was instructed to marry and love an adulterous woman. Again and again she would run off after other men. He would pursue her and find her in whatever mess she landed up in - and he would rescue her and love her. Why would he keep going after her??? - Because that's what love does!
God will not leave us be. He will pursue us wherever we go - into pleasure or darkness, into distraction or rebellion - He will seek us.
And His desire is to turn our darkness into His light.
| Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalms139:7-12) |
